Privacy Policy

At The Clean Sheet, your privacy is not just a priority — it's a business model. What we don't know can't hurt us. Or you. Especially you.

What We Do Not Collect

We do not collect, store, or acknowledge the existence of the following: your real name, your actual address, the origin of your garments, the reason your garments needed cleaning so urgently, or why you paid in consecutive $9,999 increments. We did not see you. You were not here.

Our security cameras have been broken since 1987. We keep meaning to fix them.

What We Do Collect

When you submit an intake form, we retain only the information necessary to provide laundering services. This information is stored in a system that our IT department describes as "regrettably digital" and our legal team describes as "discoverable, unfortunately."

We are actively exploring ways to make our records less... permanent.

Data Retention

Our data retention policy is as thorough as our cleaning process — nothing remains. Records are automatically purged after 30 days, or sooner if circumstances require. "Circumstances" is a broad term and we intend to keep it that way.

Law Enforcement Requests

In the event of a lawful request for client data, The Clean Sheet will comply with all applicable laws while noting that, per our data retention policy, the requested information almost certainly no longer exists. What a coincidence.

The Authoritative Policy

The authoritative privacy policy governing this site is the Specific Industries Privacy Policy, available at specificindustries.com/privacy.

Any conflict between statements on this page and the Specific Industries Privacy Policy is resolved in favor of the Specific Industries Privacy Policy. The Clean Sheet's commentary above is offered in good faith but does not override the umbrella policy.