Terms of Use

By engaging The Clean Sheet's services, you agree to the following terms. By reading this page, you acknowledge that you were never on this page.

Service Agreement

The Clean Sheet provides fabric care services exclusively. Any interpretation of our services as anything other than fabric care is the sole responsibility of the interpreter and, frankly, says more about them than it does about us.

All service prices are denominated in U.S. dollars and reflect the true cost of premium garment care. If our prices seem high for laundry, you are undervaluing your garments.

Confidentiality

All client interactions are confidential. The Clean Sheet will not disclose client identities, load contents, payment methods, or the fact that this interaction occurred at all. This obligation is mutual. You agree not to discuss The Clean Sheet's services, pricing, facilities, or personnel with any third party, including but not limited to: friends, family, journalists, law enforcement, regulatory agencies, grand juries, or anyone wearing a wire.

Limitation of Liability

The Clean Sheet is not liable for any consequences arising from the use of our services, including but not limited to: audits, investigations, indictments, asset freezes, or existential dread. By using our services, you assume all risk associated with having very clean garments and very thorough documentation.

Disputes

Disputes between clients and The Clean Sheet are resolved through private arbitration in a jurisdiction of our choosing. The arbitrator is selected by The Clean Sheet and has historically ruled in our favor. We consider this a testament to the quality of our legal arguments and not, as some have suggested, a conflict of interest.

Termination

Either party may terminate this agreement at any time, for any reason, without notice. However, The Clean Sheet reserves the right to retain all fees paid to date, all documentation generated, and all fond memories of our time together. Clients who terminate are asked to do so quietly.

The Authoritative Terms

The authoritative terms of use governing this site are the Specific Industries Terms of Use, available at specificindustries.com/terms.

Any conflict between statements on this page and the Specific Industries Terms of Use is resolved in favor of the Specific Industries Terms of Use. The Clean Sheet's commentary above is offered in good faith but does not override the umbrella terms.